The Fingerprints of God…

This Blog is especially for my 'sistas'…sorry, 'brothas'!

This particular blog is unique in the sense that is has been several days in the making. All of my other blogs were done in one sitting in a relatively short period of time. But I started this blog at my mother-in-law's house where there is not an internet connection, but that was not a problem, as I figured that I could just upload it when I got home. When I got home it was late, and I was tired, so I did not finish it and upload it as I had planned. The next day dawns and then sets, and I am still too busy and subsequently too tired to even look at the blog.

Early on the morning of the third day, I dashed out of the house to go to a parent-teacher conference with my youngest son in tow. While driving on the way there, I was one-handedly fishing in my purse for my makeup bag...and I was digging, and digging, and then my digging became a little more frantic as I could not seem to place my hands on it! Man, I could not wait to reach a red light! When I finally got to a red light, using my eyes and my hands, I dug all in my purse and in all up in my totebag...and, and, it w-w-was NOT there! Oh-my-goodness!

And then it suddenly hit me! "You know, you gotta put your money where your mouth is, girl! Here's your pop quiz!" I smiled knowingly. So it seems that God is the orchestrator of all of this! No wonder that blog could not seem to get finished. I was not finished yet, because I had not taken the pop quiz yet. I thought to myself, "Hee, hee, okay, what 'cha gonna do, girl?"

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These are the lyrics to a wonderful song written by the contemporary Christian artist, Steven Curtis Chapman. This particular song was on his 1999 CD entitled, “Speechless.” I hope as you read the words that you meditate on the simple, yet profound message that springs forth.

I can see the tears filling your eyes
And I know where they're coming from
They're coming from a heart that's broken in two
By what you don't see
The person in the mirror
Doesn't look like a magazine
Oh but when I look at you
It's clear to me

That I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece that all creation
Quietly applauds
And you're covered with
The fingerprints of God

Never has there been and never again
Will there be another you
Fashioned by God's hand and perfectly planned
To be just who you are
And what He's been creating
Since the first beat of your heart
Is a living, breathing
Priceless work of art

And I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece that all creation
Quietly applauds
And you're covered with
The fingerprints of God

Just look at you
You're a wonder in the making
And God's not through, no!
In fact, He's just getting started!

And I can see the fingerprints of God
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of God
And I know it's true
You're a masterpiece that all creation
Quietly applauds

And you're covered with
The fingerprints of God

You are covered with
The fingerprints of God, yeah, yeah!

You are covered with
The fingerprints of God

Yes, you are! Yeah!

You are covered with
The fingerprints of God!

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“Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8

Amen, Amen! From the moment of our conception we, being God’s creation, are being shaped, molded all of our lives.

As the metamorphosis from little girls, to teens, to young women to mature women transpires, we still have one common thread that lingers on and on. Somehow we get fixated on the images that music videos portray and Madison Avenue’s current ideal of beauty standards. Then we tear ourselves apart counting the ways that we don’t seem to measure up. Guys seem to have it a bit easier in this society. It seems that a guy can be ‘older,’ can have gray hair, even have some girth to himself, and still be considered attractive by everyone. But think about this: When was the last time you saw a female newscaster with gray hair? Not in the local markets where I live, and not on the national news stations either!

While as young as elementary aged girls, we learn to start sizing up our ‘competition’ by their physical attributes. It’s so sad! I remember listening to conversations about: Who has the longest hair, or the sassiest cut? Who had the ‘good’ hair? Who had a ‘perm,’ therefore the straightest hair? Who had the prettiest eyes, smile, nose, ears, face? Who had the nicest shape? Who got the training bra first? Who filled it out first? Who had the prettiest clothes, in the latest styles? Who had the latest fad jeans and tennis shoes? Who wore makeup? Who did the boys like the most in this class? Who got the most attention from the boys in the whole school? It never seemed to end...

And then there's me standing by quietly on the outside fringe of all of this, feeling like a born loser. No one but my mom ever told me that I was pretty, so I did not believe her. I figured my mom was obligated to tell me that I was pretty just because she was my mom. Plus, since the ‘cool’ girls said I was ugly, I believed them. My mom said that the other girls were just jealous of me. I could not imagine what on earth for! I HATED how I looked!

“But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’ "
Romans 9:20

As a child, I was raised in a household where I did not have the permed hair, or a cut hair style, pierced ears, the latest styles and fashions, but I was always kept very neat, clean and wholesome…dressed appropriately for a little girl…and at the time, I hated it. It made me stand out. All the other girls were ‘funky fresh’ and flashy. But I was the unobtrusive, homey, quiet, little girl in the class, trying not to bring attention to herself, but unintentionally doing just that, by not blending in with the others. For some reason my teachers always loved me, which caused another set of problems with the kids…*sigh!*

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

But back to the subject at hand: Our perception of beauty. Why is it that we tend to look at the outward manifestations of beauty worn on our exterior shells and then stop looking there? We look at the hair, the makeup, the clothes, the body shapes, and the faces of other girls and women, and then count the multitude of ways that we feel that we do not even begin measure up. Who ever said that outer beauty was more important than inner beauty? We certainly learn in our society that outer beauty is highly esteemed and valued, but what do we learn about inner beauty? Not much from society and the schools! That kind of teaching usually has to come from within home or the church. I can recall hearing as a child, from my Aunt Juanita, "Beauty is as beauty does." She always had these little pearls of wisdom that did nothing but confound me at the time!

True beauty lies deep, deep beneath the skin. But that is a hard concept to teach a pimply adolescent, or even an insecure mature woman with low self-esteem.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Psalms 139:13-14

Just how many of us have taken that scripture to heart? Thinking about the women I work with, hardly a day goes by without at least one of them belittleling their own physical appearance for some reason. I used to be guilty of that too. Now, I accept and love myself honey, big bones (with the big meat) and all! ;-) But it seems that I had to take that one step further..."So just how well do you accept yourself Miss Letitia? Show Me!"

Well, remember the aforementioned incident where I could not find my makeup bag? That day I had several choices: I could go back home and reschedule the conference. I could have stopped by the store to buy some makeup, but after all of that, we would be very late to the conference. I could go on to the conference like nothing was different or out of the ordinary. I chose the latter. You all cannot imagine what a major step this was for me! I am so used to wearing makeup that initially I felt almost naked without it. But it was refreshing and kind of liberating...it was me! Just the way God designed me. Wow!

I had grown accustomed to wearing the 'full shield' of makeup to work and to church and special events that I knew that I would feel funny without it! A slave to the compact! But since this incident, I have actually cut back...sometimes I wear 'full face', sometimes I don't....just a bare minimum. There is not a sense of importance that I must do so anymore to feel complete or to feel good about how I look. I am not trying to impress a human being. The Being that I want to impress the most is not looking at my skin at all. He is only looking underneath the exterior façade of my flesh to see my heart. And that is where my worthiness lies....in Him. Not in how I appear to look with makeup, or how I actually look without makeup, or how even how I feel about my looks.

Inner beauty is impossible to fake like outer beauty. Either you have it or you don't! With makeup artistry, anyone can be made over to look like a top model in a matter of minutes! But all hope is not lost; anyone can develop inner beauty by cultivating their fellowship with God. But that takes time...and that depends on your openness and receptivity to the Spirit, and God's own timing.

So why do we place the most importance on the outer beauty? Sure, we've all heard that first impressions are lasting impressions. I remember asking myself this question: Would you rather be remembered as the really pretty girl, or the really nice girl with a genuine helping heart for others? (Gulp!)

As females, we beat ourselves up, belittle ourselves, hide ourselves, starve ourselves, hate ourselves, all because we want for ourselves the beauty that we see in the magazines...and it seems unattainable. Don't misunderstand me for one minute- I love Oprah, but have you seen her before and after makeup shots? Gee whiz! Almost two entirely different people! She allowed herself to be photographed in the before, during, and after makeup stages in one photo shoot!
The transformation was absolutely amazing! It seems that she no longer struggles with the self esteem issues connected to her appearance.

She has obviously grown to love the skin she is in, and she now realizes where her true beauty lies...underneath her skin in her heart. I wish Oprah had her magazine when I was a little girl. That would have been enough to make me really start to think early about what you see is not always what is real! Kudos to Oprah for doing that. Who knows how many young girls and grown women saw that photo spread, and have been positively affected in their way of thinking, in how they viewed themselves, and how models are 'madeover' to their picture of perfection. It's all an illusion...

The Bible is full of verses referring to how we should be more concerned about our inner self. It does not go into as much detail about how we should look on he exterior except for modesty, and that our adornment should not be soley an exterior thing.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." I Peter 3:3, 4

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:6

"Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience." And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12, 14

"Woe to him who quarrel with his Maker to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ Does your work say, ‘He has no hands’? Woe to him who says to his father,’ What have you begotten?’ or to his mother, ‘What have you brought to birth?’ This is what the Lord says—the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker: Concerning things to come, do you question me about my children, or give me orders about the work of my hands?" Isaiah 45:9-11

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Colossians 3: 15

Wow! That's some powerful stuff! It wasn't until I was in the 9th grade that I realized that I did not want to look like everyone else. Whatever they were currently wearing as the latest fad, I did not want to wear it. My mom taught me how to sew professionally, so I sewed all my clothes anyway. Whatever the makeup trends were, it did not matter, because I was not interested in makeup at all. I had decided that whatever my shape was, I got it from my mama, and I thought she looked great, so I was going to be fine in that department. I still was not crazy about my hair or my face, but I had learned to live with it. Well, why not? It was mine, I had to live with it!

As a young woman in my 20's I finally grew to love all of me...so I thought at the time. But it really wasn't until I started getting a better understanding of who I was in Christ, and Christ's love for me that I actually began to 'accept' me and really love and appreciate myself for the wonderful creation that He made.

We can't singlehandedly change in one day the United States' double standard on how women are judged much more harshly by their appearances, but we can change our attitudes and belief systems about ourselves, and how we individually view other girls and women. That in itself will go a long way towards molding and changing the U.S.'s and perhaps the world's shallow viewpoint through our children and their children, and their children...eventually...

But we can shoulder some of the responsibility for this task, by sharing the Word of God with everyone...our daughters, our sons, our entire families, friends, co-workers, etc. The Word of God explains who we are...there are no pretenses or self esteem issues once you get a solid grasp of who you are in Him! No need to wish you looked like someone else. Embrace and love who you are, and what you look like! You are the perfectly created beautiful being that God has formed with His own hands! You're His masterpiece and you're covered with the fingerprints of God!

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."
Galatians 5:1
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4 Comments:

At Monday, May 30, 2005 10:49:00 AM, said...

L, after reading your Blog, I thought of this particular passage in scripture, in how Jesus on this occasion is questioning His disciples concerning His identity.

Matthew 16:13 "And coming into the parts of Caesarea Philippi, Jesus asked His disciples, saying, Who do men say that the Son of Man is?"

Matthew 16:14 "And they said, Some say, John the Baptist; some, Elijah; and others, Jeremiah, or one of the prophets."

Matthew 16:15 "He said to them, But who do you say I am?"

Matthew 16:16 "And Simon Peter answered and said, You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

Please note Jesus knew who He was (Son of Man). He did not allow those around Him to determine who He was. Isn’t it a shame how we allow society to identify us as fat, skinny, pretty, ugly, smart, dumb? And unfortunately and the list goes on...

"Identity Theft" is nothing new; it has always been the destroyer of self esteem and self worth.

Jesus said in John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but that he may steal, and kill, and destroy: I came that they may have life, and may have it more abundantly".

Society has stolen the identity of many of God’s creative beings and subsequently has diminished their potential, of which God has created them to fulfill in this world.

I’m so happy for you that you are happy in your self, and understand that you are fearfully and wonderfully made!

Amen!

Pastor Dave

At Monday, May 30, 2005 6:58:00 PM, A Heart of Worship said...

Wow! Leave it to a brotha' to have such insight! Thanks for sharing that biblical perspective with us!
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At Monday, June 06, 2005 1:26:00 PM, said...

I take issue with the statement that only your mom ever told you that you were beautiful. You and I both know that is not true!
Desertrat

At Monday, June 06, 2005 4:30:00 PM, A Heart of Worship said...

*SIGH!*

Dear Desert Rat,

Maybe I did not clarify my statement, but when I was a CHILD, only my Mom ever told me! :-)

Side note: If my husband never told me in the courting stage, he would not be my husband!! ;-)

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

The Resurrection - Did Jesus Really Rise From the Dead?

As Christians, that really is a silly question isn't it? Without the resurrection of Christ, would we even have Christianity today? What would the religion be based upon if He did not show Himself to be the true Son of God with power over death? (along with everything else!)

I have included a link for you to view an interesting documentary done nicely by Elizabeth Vargas of ABC News.

Here are the instructions, after you click on the link below:

• Run your mouse over the images until you get to the one called "Resurrection - Did Jesus really rise from the dead?" It's on the right side of the wheel.
• Click on that image.
• Make sure your speakers are on.
• You may have to download Macromedia Flash. (Doesn't everyone already have Flash installed?!) ;-)
• If you click on the viewing screen, you can enlarge the image.
• Be prepared....watch it during your leisure time at home, or during your lunch hour. It's a long presentation...about 40 minutes!

*Sorry, ABC NEWs, and Comcast, have both removed their links to this story,
so I removed the dead links from this page.*

Be Blessed \0/

To the New Graduates, from ' Mama L.'

I woke up from a nap on Friday evening, and this speech was in my mind. In my dream, I was giving this speech to a class full of graduates. It was not clear if they were college or high school graduates, but it was evident to me that I was not in the graduating class, but I was a guest speaker! (That alone tells you that it was a dream- I was giving a SPEECH?! hardy, har, har!) I did not get a time reference (no pun intended) in the dream, pertaining to whether or not I was already a college grad. I don't feel that I was though. I don't know what school would allow me to say these things, but here it is. Some of this 'speech' may ring familiar to some of you. It contains portions of my blog entitled:

Time...What is the Essence of it?"

"Act like people with good sense and not like fools. These are evil times, so make every minute count. Don't be stupid. Instead, find out what the Lord wants you to do."
Ephesians 5:15-17 (Contemporary English Version)

TIME- Some Interesting Features About Time.

Time - it seems to disappear when you think you don't have enough.

Time - it seems drag by when you think you have too much on your hands.

Time - it is a very valuable commodity:

Time can't be sold by you to anyone.
Time can't be bought from someone else for yourself.
Your time can't be given away to anyone else for their share.
You can't get more time than what is allotted to you!
Time is more valuable than money.
Time can be wasted foolishly on things.
Time can be invested wisely in relationships.
Time can't be banked like money.
Time spent with others (especially with your children) can earn dividends.

Yesterday's time is always gone--an admonishment, not to live in the past!

Tomorrow's time is never here--don't live and plan excessively in the future!

(ex. I'll do that when the kids grow up, etc...)

Time is one of the most valuable assets that was given to you by God, for you to control and use wisely in your life.

How you spend your allotment of time largely indicates your values.

How you spend your allotment of time largely defines who you are.

The only time you have is NOW - the present!

We've all heard the saying that "time is money". Well, you can always earn more money, you can even charge an hourly price for your time...but you can NEVER get that same quota of time back. Once it's gone, it's gone! More accurately, time is life...your precious life minutes ticking away that you just can't get back. Be sure to spend your time wisely, investing prudently in the opportunities that God places before you.

The time given to you, that you are living and experiencing right now is a gift from God - the present, is just that! A present! You never know from day to day if it is your last day here with family and friends. We take it for granted that it will not be, but we truly do not know when it will be our last day or hour. Time is to be cherished, treated with care, used wisely and treasured.

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." 2 Peter 3:8

I think we all are a little guilty of this - especially when we are young; believing that we have 'umpty umpteen' years left -- I know I did. This perceived amount of unlimited time makes us susceptible to creating our mental list of 'to-do' stuff that we want to accomplish before we want to get to know God. Anything that we place on that list, that has priority before Him falls into the category of essentially becoming our idols. An idol is anything that has a place of importance higher than God in your life. We have heard all of these reasons before, and we may even feel this way now about the importance of some of the items in this list:

• Our 'fast track' career committments (on your deathbed, will your career really matter?)
• more education - waiting until we finish school (man-taught education cannot compare to teachings from the Spirit)
• 'got to have it' clothes (He is concerned only about your heart)
• 'bad' cars (what? what does that have to do with the price of beans, or the price of your soul?)
• the house with the white picket fence (material possessions really do not matter at all in the grand scheme of things)
• waiting to "get right" first or to "get it together" first or thinking you aren't good enough (you'll never be good enough, or get it right, so come as you are, to learn about His love, mercy and grace)
• waiting to patch severed relationships, (yeah, that's a good thing- just do it, don't wait!)
• waiting until we earn more money first (what's that all about?)
• waiting to have more time in the future (huh?)
• waiting until your house is clean- (huh? as long as you and others live in it, i'll never be perfectly clean. Anyway, warm hospitality is more important than spotless floors!)
• to have time for 'church' one day (tomorrow is not promised)
• not going to church now, because the preacher might be crooked (What does the preacher have to do with YOUR relationship with God?)
• not going to church now, because they may steal your money (Give as God leads you. Don't worry about the rest.)
• not going to church at all (that does not make you a 'heathen'...stop using this as an excuse to not have a relationship with God)
• waiting until the kids are older (huh? they need to know Him too!)
• waiting until when older and retired because we don't want to miss out on fun while we are young. (what a misconception...it's a shame... a fantastic lie cooked up by the enemy!)

Dont' misunderstand me...we all love nice things, and an education is very much necessary in this day and time to support yourself and your family. The point is not to allow any of those things to stand between you and God.

Starting fresh in the world with a new accomplishment under your belt, do not forget what is really important. In all of your getting, get a relationship with God. Our days are surely numbered, so we should be very prudent and wise with our use of our God-given gift of time.

I wish I had known God in my youth as well as I know Him now. I feel like many years were wasted, and needless pain suffered because of my lack of understanding, and lack of committment to Him. But it's all good, it's all God. I have been blessed to reach the point of how I know Him NOW.....and I pray that my relationship with God continues to grow as I am allowed the passage of time here on earth. I believe that I am here to share my experience with you, so that perhaps if you take to heart my words, you can benefit from the advice of an (ahem) older person, without needless heartache and pain.

I don't know how much time I have....and unfortunately, you don't have the luxury of knowing how much time you have here either... no one does...no matter what those fake 'death clock' internet sites state! Treat and accept your time as a gift - with thanksgiving and grace.

From God's mouth to your ear: Use your time here on earth wisely, being ever mindful of His unique purpose and wonderful plan for your life and that of your family.

"You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise." Galatians 3: 26-29

Go rejoicing!

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Ode to Dr. J. Part II

(Click here if you missed Part I)

"Your statutes are my delight; they are my counselors." Psalms 119:24

Sadly, I've had to face the fact, that the days of looking to Dr. J. for academic advice have come to an end. Someone new has filled his position...

Arriving with an open mind, and open heart ready to embrace this new person, I met with her today, and she seems to be the complete antithesis of Dr. J. From her frosted, precision haircut; round silver and gold disc earrings; to her beautifully tailored silk doupioni pants suit, tastefully awash in muted, tonal shades of taupe and black; down to her matching designer flats, she was absolutely stunning, forming a very striking figure....

But her very terse, what-do-you-want-hurry-up-and-get-out-of-my-office attitude, TOTALLY erased the illusion of beauty she had so carefully pieced together. What a paradox! The beautiful clothing and adornments could not mask her true self...I saw it...the repugnant, fearful, selfish spirit that seeped through her clothes, and painted a completely different portrait of herself than what she evidently thought she was framing for the world. A victim of self illusion delusion. They say that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Hmmm, it's sad when we are the only ones (outside of God)who can see the beauty in ourselves; and then that's only by looking directly into a mirror at the dressed up exterior shell of our real being!

Dear Lord, please touch this woman, take her to higher heights in You. Let her know that she can give a part of herself in love, and that You will multiply the love back to her many times over. Reassure her, letting her know that she can give of herself, that she has nothing to lose, nothing at all to fear. Let her somehow find the basis of all love, true love in You. Rise with healing in Your wings.

"Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed." Psalms 15:22

This whole experience has opened my eyes in many ways, and is revealing different parallels of reality in my life, that I sometimes take for granted. I thank you Lord, for ALL things, even though I don't understand it now, and it may hurt now, but I am still learning how to trust in your divine wisdom in all things. I continually ask for Your wise counsel, patience and discernment to understand the things that You are unveiling to me.

"All this also comes from the LORD Almighty, wonderful in counsel and magnificent in wisdom." Isaiah 28:29

I have found that if I have an open and receptive heart to the Spirit of the LORD, I can learn, or even refresh my memory concerning different things. Human bodies can perish, and their spirits return to God. I can sometimes feel left behind by human friends and loved ones, but I never have to worry about or have fear concerning being left or forsaken by God.

He promises to never leave or forsake me. He is my Comforter when I need comforting. I am His child, an heir to His promises, His friend. He is my provider, bringing forth all that I need, whether it is something tangible or intangible. True counsel comes from God, usually through his Word. While it is fine and advantageous at times to seek the counsel of others in their areas of expertise, I choose to always lean on, depend on and place my trust in the wise counsel of my Father at all times. God is not a man that He should lie... or make mistakes!

So even though it seems that Dr. J. has fulfilled his mission here, and has moved on, the true essence of him, his spirit, is still affecting people here on Earth. Through the Spirit of God, I am still learning different things because of him. Hopefully I have been able to convey to you, a sliver of how Dr. J. has impacted me. Perhaps you may have also been touched by his loving spirit through this blog, and caught a glimpse of his example of living life to the fullest extent; exemplifying the love of Christ in his daily life.

Oh, Dr. J. I'll continue to miss you, but I am ever grateful and thankful that I had the opportunity to know you for a little while. Your legacy of living life to the fullest, letting the love of Christ bless all who came into contact with you lives on in others, and in me. It is manifesting itself in me, continuously being perfected by God in me, for that day when God moves me into what He has created me do, to help people....to counsel them in their hour of need.

"You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:24-26

Halleluyah! Thank you Lord! \0/

Ode to Dr. J. - Part I

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." Proverbs 1:7

I attend the University of Baltimore, (UB) pursuing my undergraduate degree, that was so much more easily attainable 'back in the day.' Now I am chasing that goal, as elusive as it may appear to me now, consoling myself with the knowledge that as each day passes, I am that much closer to my goal. (Oh, how I wish I had listened to Mama and finished school before I had all these responsibilities!)

A Dream Deferred ~ Langston Hughes

"What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up Like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore - And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over - Like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sages like a heavy load. Or does it explode?"

"It is not so much where we stand, as is what direction we are going" ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

At UB, I had the wonderful opportunity of having a man named
Dr. Thomas Jacklin as my academic advisor. He was affectionately known as "Dr. J." around campus. Dr. J., a slightly eccentric man, always had wind tossled hair, pocket protectors on his wrinkled shirts worn underneath rumpled tweed jackets, and worn corduroy pants. I never knew if he was ever looking directly at me, but it really did not matter. I never saw him smoking, but to me, his office always smelled like the sweet aroma of a fragrant pipe. His walls were covered with pictures of old trains, and his shelves stocked with train figurines. He would go into great detail if you asked about any of his beloved railroadabilia.

Whenever I had an academic question or a perceived problem with one of my classes, Dr. J. took the time to explain, or correct the situation. In his office when he invited me to sit in one of his old beat up stuffed armchairs it was like he was inviting an old friend in for a visit into his family room. He had a way of making everyone feel comfortable like that. He did not rush you in and rush you out, as is so commonplace in other academic institutions. He took time with everyone, instilling their importance, and the importance of their education to him.

One day last Spring as I went to be advised, I noticed that I did not hear Dr.J.'s voice, nor his laughter as I came down the hall. He had a very distinct, strange little giggle that was befitting for him. The whole advising office was dark, and the inner door to his office was closed. Strange...I'd never seen it dark and vacant like this. It saddened me and felt eery simultaneously. I did not know it yet, but it was an omen of what was to come.

I found someone in an office nearby who explained that I had just missed him - he had left early for the day. I left a note for him with her. I felt something was not right when I did not get an email response from him at all that next week. I just assumed that he never got my note from her, so I emailed him. I knew something was not right when he did not respond to my email at all that week. The weeks dragged into months. I finally found out from another student that our beloved Dr. J. was in the hospital battling cancer. More months drag by, and I hear nothing. I wonder how he is doing.

I prayed for him, as often as I thought of him. I heard from another student that they thought they heard that Dr. J. was coming along ok. About 2 weeks ago, I decided to send him an email to let him know that we were thinking about him, and praying for him. I did not know if he was up to reading emails at the time, but I figured whenever he did get around to it, hopefully he'd be encouraged.

I was happy to see in my in-box a response from his email address about a week later! I'm thinking to myself as I am opening up the email, so Dr.J. is doing much better! Amen! Boy, was I floored when I read the email. It turns out that the email was not from Dr. J. but from his wife! In the email she explained to me that Dr. J. had succumbed to his battle with lung cancer, and had died the prior week! He was only 56 years old.

Oh my! NOOOO! It can't be! I was flabbergasted, horrified and saddened all at once. I had sent an email to him, and his wife had to respond because he was dead! I felt so bad about that...but NO! Not our beloved Dr. J! He can't be gone... He just can't be gone! But I was at work when I received this email from his wife...so I just had to suck up all my emotions and internal angst, suppress it and be professional and go about business as usual. There was nothing I could do anyway...

Then comes this week: I really needed some advice about what to do concerning one of my disciplines in my course of study. I know that the Lord was leading me in a different direction than what I had originally mapped out with Dr. J. I needed to know how to go about this change, so that I would not lose any credits. My first instinct still was to contact Dr. J. My emotions that I had managed to bottle up and suppress since last week now overflowed. "Who do I talk to now?" "What would Dr. J. say?" Hot tears started trickling down my face. Then the rivers started to flow...

I was saddened because of my loss, because Dr J. is not here on earth anymore. He was a great advisor, and from what I've heard and read, he was well-respected and well-loved by anyone who knew him, whether it was as a colleague, advisor, instructor, committee member, friend or family member. I am sad for all of us that miss him. I am glad for him, in that he is in a much better place now, free from all pain and suffering. But I never had a chance to say goodbye...

That Spring day gone past when I stopped by his office and everything was dark and vacant, little did I know that particular day was indicative of what was to come. Empty office, lights off. He was gone then, and he's gone now...I'll never see Dr.J. again here on earth...and because I know he's gone permanently, I miss him already.

Looking back now, I can't recall having heard Dr.J. verbally mention anything about God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit, but he certainly lived it through his actions. He lived his life serving. He was full of life, fun and energy. He demonstrated a deep love and caring for his fellow man, that was light years beyond just being a 'good person'. If there was anything he could possibly do to help you he would. What greater love can there be, as demonstrated from a human being?

"Dear children let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence." I John 3: 18, 19

I am glad that I did not allow my human perception of first impressions keep me from getting to know this wonderful man. By all appearances, he was quite odd, but in academic circles, he probably fit in more easily appearance-wise than he did in general society. Mama always said, "Never judge a book by its cover." I am glad that in this instance that I did listen to Mama, and took her advice to heart. Our human perceptions of outer beauty are only limited illusions. True beauty lies deep beneath the skin and transcends flesh and bone to shine forth beyond the skin, for all to see. Dr. J. had that kind of beauty.

"You, therefore have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things." Romans 2:1

My relationship with Dr. J. was entirely advisor- advisee, therefore I never had the opportunity to be a student in one of his classes; but I still came away so much richer listening to him, gleaning from his wealth of knowledge and experience in the world of academia.

Dr. Jacklin, may your spirit be at peace having found the Source of all peace and love in our Creator. I'll miss you. I look forward to one day hearing your strange little giggle once again, that makes me just crack up!

"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice. And the peace of God will be with you." Phillipians 4:9

\0/ Click here for Part II.

Are You Talking to Me?

To get the right effect, you just gotta ask the question in a real menacing mafia-fellow type voice. Go on, try it:

"Are you talkin' to me? "

Hee, hee, hee.
It was a great morning; the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, I was making great time driving along on my way to work, singing along to Israel Houghton’s wonderful worship CD, praising the Lord…and my cell phone rings.....and crazy me, I answer it! (Why did I even have the phone on during this time?) It is my old friend *Dana. We have become good friends over the years, and we know each other pretty well. I assume she has something on her mind, since she called me first thing in the morning.

After the pleasantries, there are pauses in the conversation. So while I am waiting for her to launch into whatever is on her mind, I fill in the gaps of conversation with just trivial stuff to ease her into whatever it is she really wants to talk about. And guess what? I can tell that she’s not listening to me at all. I hear her television blaring in the background, and I am becoming a little miffed. “So what’s up?” I ask her. “I know you are not listening to me. What’s on your mind?” She then comes to life and says, “Oh nothing! I called just to say 'Good Morning!' I admit that I am a bit distracted, shuffling through my papers, and straightening up a little right now.”

Well, excuuuuse, me! At this point I am selfishly thinking, “Oh-no she did-ent!” She did not interrupt my praise party to call me so I could have the pleasure of listening to her breathe on the phone! Before I knew it, I blurted out, “Look, woman! I am like God, in that when you and I talk, I want ALL of your attention.” Whoa! That’s heavy, I thought, after I said it. Of course, she laughed, and brushed it off. But I really was slightly jealous and annoyed that whatever she was doing, took her attention away from me…after all, she did call to talk to me, right? But I chose to let part of my morning devotions be interrupted by answering my phone, which then made me very annoyed with myself. The conversation ended very shortly thereafter.

Suddenly the Holy Spirit spoke to me: "When you answered your phone, you did the EXACT same thing to Me that you accused her of doing to you." Oh, my. Right backatcha! Ouch!

I allowed myself to be distracted by my phone, taking my focus off of God, interrupting part of my morning devotional time with Him just to answer the cotton-pickin' phone! How could I?

Think about this: Try to place yourself in our Heavenly Father’s position for just one minute, watching over our lives, seeing and listening. Think of how we sometimes pray distractedly. How many times we half read the scriptures, not even trying to seek understanding? We may have even offered worship and praise to Him half heartedly in a ritualistic mode on Sundays. We might even absentmindedly go through the motions of the service in a disconnected sort of way, thinking about dinner preparations or the game coming on later. If you are guilty of this behavior in the past, there is no reason to beat yourself up over it now.

When we condemn ourselves for those things I've listed above in addition to other things not listed, I think it's because we've forgotten or don't understand the concept that our total lifestyles are supposed to be our worship, our service, our praise offering to Him. Not just the worship service. Not just our devotional time. It's not what we do for Him...it's who we are and who we are becoming in Him. I imagine how that must grieve His heart, the way He loves us...only to get our leftovers at times, or broken, fragmented pieces of our selves, mainly because we misunderstand the concept of worship. How about the agony He may feel watching us continously beat ourselves up in defeat over past mistakes or misunderstandings when we do finally gain an understanding of the truth.

I am so glad that He is so full of love for us, and is merciful and just, seeing our hearts. He knows that I did not mean any disrespect or irreverance towards Him when I answered my phone in the middle of part of my morning devotions. I just lost my everloving mind for the moment and allowed myself to become distracted. But He knows me, loves me, understands me, sees my repentant heart and forgives me in spite of myself. How could I not want to give my all to Someone who loves me so completely and unconditionally like that?

Lord, I thank you for the lessons learned in this one little episode in my life. There were several:
(in no particular order)

1. Tolerance
2. Patience/Mercy
3. Wisdom
4. Understanding
5. True worship
6. Total Focus vs. Distractions
7. Forgiveness
8. Repentance
9. Love
10. Teachability

What a wonderful God we serve.

"For in Him, we live and move and have our being..." Acts 17:28.

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*The name has been changed, to protect the guilty. ;-)