Hey Y'all!
Have you ever woke up with a certain burning excitement in your spirit, but you don't know why? Ever gone to bed with that same excitement, still not sure about exactly what it is you are excited about, but nevertheless you are? And you can't do anything about it...it is just there? And it lasts...and lasts? And you just can't put adequate words to it (like I am desperately trying to do now) trying to explain it to someone?
It feels like I am on the brink of something exciting....a breakthrough of some sort....but I have no idea what! That in itself is a little unsettling, but I can live with it...I guess I don't any choice, but to live with it, until God decides to reveal to me whatI am sensing.
The last time I had an acute experience of this type was after I was slain in the Spirit. This internal fire that I am trying to convey to you was one of the lasting results- for several weeks later! Remember how Mose's face shone bright with the glory and the people could not look at Him because He had been in the presence of the Lord? (Nooo, I am not comparing myself to Moses!) But it feels like maybe the glory of the Lord is inside of me, and is just BURSTING to get OUT!! Okay, okay! I'll admit to it--I do have an active imagination, but I am trying to convey my experience to you, so that you can better understand what I am trying to say.
I know my joyfulness is driving certain people nuts. You can see it in their faces. You know the ones I am referring to-- the dried up prunes that would rather sit around and complain about everything that is wrong all the time! Alot of times people seem to like wallow in their own misery! Why is that? And why does misery love company? Why? I really don't understand! I would rather be joyful any day! My thoughts are this: Show me the light! Set the captive free! He who is free is free indeed!
"To say to the captives, 'Come out,' and to those in darkness, 'Be free!' "They will feed beside the roads and find pasture on every barren hill. They will neither hunger nor thirst, nor will the desert heat or the sun beat upon them. He who has compassion on them will guide them and lead them beside springs of water." Isaiah 49:9, 10
"To open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness." Isaiah 42:7
"Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:35-37
Amen, amen! Gettin' on the good foot! Holla! \o/
Welcome to "A Heart of Worship!" This is where I post things that have impacted my life spiritually. When we embrace the concept of worship as a lifestyle, we have an opportunity to see God reveal Himself in ways we'd never dreamed possible! Although this site was initially designed for my sweet "Sisters," my dear "Brothers in Christ," I encourage you all to feel free to respond to any of my posts or to start a new thought too. God's Word applies to all of us! Blessings!
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Adamma and Eva?
Okay dokey now....like I said before- this semester started off with a BANG! (This BANG is me hitting the floor onto my knees in prayer!) Last night in my Literature class, the instructor was sharing information about the overall theme of all of our readings for the semester was to be about the concept of 'Family.' "Great!" I thought, I can get with this!
After lecturing a bit she asked us to write on these large index cards that she had passed out earlier, what our own personal definition of family was. Okay piece of cake...I wrote about Adam being lonely, and being given Eve by God, and their reproduction creating the first family. I wrote about family being a place of nurturing, acceptance, unconditional love, sharing a set of common values based on biblical principles (in my house), raising children into moral, ethical people, etc... you get the drift. I also notated a list of social ills that are destroying what fibers we have left of family and the importance of family in today's society...okay so you get where I was going. She stopped us after about 5 minutes of writing, so wherever we left off in our writing was it.
The instructor asked for volunteers to read their cards. On the first day of class, I am always quiet- observing the instructor and my classmates, so I said nothing. The instructor randomly picks several people who have raised their hands to read their cards. I am surprised that my classmates want to read at all. Several other classes I have been in, the instructor usually always had to call on people to read, because getting volunteers was like pulling hen's teeth. Last semester, the guy who sat right next to me in my "Arts and Ideas" class actually blew up at the instructor about being called upon to read aloud in class, (imagine my shock during his implosion explosion) but that is another story!
I had noticed this well dressed, and neatly coiffed African American woman (there are only 2 of us in this class) sitting directly across from me. The seats are arranged in a huge 'U' shape formation. We are both seated at the top of the 'U' on opposing sides (in more ways than one). This woman was animatedly waving her hand to get the opportunity to read her card. And I had noticed the instructor looking over and past her to pick other people. (Hmmm...what's up with that?) The instructor had commented on everyone's definition of family as they read theirs, and was about to move on to the next part of her lecture.
You shouldaseenit! This woman sitting across from me slips into fourth gear flapping her index card and waving wildly to get an opportunity to read her card. I'm mildly amused thinking, "Good grief woman, what else could be said about family?" Heh, I had no idea. The instructor obviously cannot ignore her now, so she calls on her. This woman happily echos what several others had said about their families consisting of people who are not biologically related...blah, blah, blah, then I heard "alternative family." My mind laments, "Oh, BLANK! Here we go."
I'll admit, my monolithic ideas of family never once mutated to think about the families that are created of people who are not biologically connected. Nor did I think of those who have made themselves 'families' consisting of the same sex. But, but, but the BIBLE SAYS that God made Adam and Eve..... NOT Adam and Steve and certainly NOT Adamma and Eva!!! HOLLER!
I managed to somehow find my way out to the edge of my opaque mindfog only to hear the instructor ask this woman if she did not mind sharing what kind of alternative family she belonged to. "Lord, why, oh why, did she have to ask her that? Who gives a care about details?!" Obviously, the whole class did...you could have heard a daggone pin drop. "Oh," she chirps, "I'm a lesbian, and so is my partner!" (Big 'DUH' there!) "We have cats as our children right now, as we don't have any human children yet!" "Blah, blah, blah... about whatever...," she droned on, and then the instructor says something meaningless and trivial, and thanks her for sharing.
I'm thinking, "Yeah, right...a big THANK YOU! That was knowledge that we all could have done without. Why do we need to know her sexual preference?" Isn't that akin to any of the others stating their favorite sexual positions? What difference does it make to any of us who have to deal with her on a casual basis in a classroom setting? Why do we need to know? I just don't get it!
Then all of a sudden I felt something. Why, was it that this woman was the one giving up the full disclosure, yet I felt and THEN confirmed with a full sweep of my eyes about the room,that ALL the OTHER EYES in the room were on me?!? Just because we are both well dressed, and both well coiffed, and both females, and both black, and both about the same age, does not lump us into the same cotton pickin' category of anything!!! What kind of jacked up logic is that? I felt like screaming and pointing, "HEY, I AM NOT A LESBIAN! SHE JUST TOLD YOU THAT SHE IS!! STOP LOOKING AT ME, DOGBITEIT!!!" I was angry enough to spit nails.
Hmmm....am I judging? How do you determine right from wrong if a 'mental judgement' is not made?
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37
Oh help me Lord! I see that I really need your help and your guidance in this situation!!!Obviously this woman (and others in her camp) need guidance too, but this is a case of the blind (me not wanting to see) leading the blind (those who really can't see)!!!
If I had only read my card, they would know I was not in the same camp as she! Through the peering of their eyes, I felt as if my character, my moral fiber, my values, my integrity was being tested and subsequently assassinated, and I had done nothing to deserve it! As a child of God, I felt that He within me was being persecuted too! To make matters worse, I could not even clear my name in this court of persecution by similarity, without drawing more attention to the issue of homosexuality....or appearing to the unchurched to be a mere 'homophobic'. The instructor had moved on. Oh, it is on up in here! And I am reminded that the battle is not mine, it is the Lord's.
But still, my blood was boiling....and I am ashamed to admit that it still is....can you tell? To be clear, this has nothing to do with 'homophobia' as they call it. For three days in a row, in three different classes I have been slapped in the face with issues that are directly against what the Word of God teaches us. This is war....all out war! As a minister of the Word of God, I WILL get the Word of God out in these classes in some kind of way.
God give me the strength...
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalms 28:7
"With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall...It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect...You armed me with strength for battle; you made my adversaries bow at my feet. He gives his king great victories; he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed, to David and his descendants forever." II Samuel 22: 30, 33, 40, 51
for the ensuing battle...
"All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands." I Samuel 17:47
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12
and the Words to say....
"Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue. The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." Exodus 4:10-12
The Word of God is not to be mocked, disbelieved or toyed with:
"Then the LORD said, "The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous, that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know." .... Then he (Abraham) said, "May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?" He (God) answered, "For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it." Genesis 18: 20, 21, 32
"Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. 25 Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land." Genesis 19:24
"Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts.
Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another.
Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion. Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.
They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless." Romans 1:24-31
"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. " Romans 1:18, 19
God loves us all and extends His infinite mercy:
"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." Romans 10:9-13
"For God's gifts and his call are irrevocable. Just as you who were at one time disobedient to God have now received mercy as a result of their disobedience, so they too have now become disobedient in order that they too may now receive mercy as a result of God's mercy to you. For God has bound all men over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all." Romans 11:29-32
And I find solace in...
"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen." Romans 11:36
Amen? Amen. \0/
After lecturing a bit she asked us to write on these large index cards that she had passed out earlier, what our own personal definition of family was. Okay piece of cake...I wrote about Adam being lonely, and being given Eve by God, and their reproduction creating the first family. I wrote about family being a place of nurturing, acceptance, unconditional love, sharing a set of common values based on biblical principles (in my house), raising children into moral, ethical people, etc... you get the drift. I also notated a list of social ills that are destroying what fibers we have left of family and the importance of family in today's society...okay so you get where I was going. She stopped us after about 5 minutes of writing, so wherever we left off in our writing was it.
The instructor asked for volunteers to read their cards. On the first day of class, I am always quiet- observing the instructor and my classmates, so I said nothing. The instructor randomly picks several people who have raised their hands to read their cards. I am surprised that my classmates want to read at all. Several other classes I have been in, the instructor usually always had to call on people to read, because getting volunteers was like pulling hen's teeth. Last semester, the guy who sat right next to me in my "Arts and Ideas" class actually blew up at the instructor about being called upon to read aloud in class, (imagine my shock during his implosion explosion) but that is another story!
I had noticed this well dressed, and neatly coiffed African American woman (there are only 2 of us in this class) sitting directly across from me. The seats are arranged in a huge 'U' shape formation. We are both seated at the top of the 'U' on opposing sides (in more ways than one). This woman was animatedly waving her hand to get the opportunity to read her card. And I had noticed the instructor looking over and past her to pick other people. (Hmmm...what's up with that?) The instructor had commented on everyone's definition of family as they read theirs, and was about to move on to the next part of her lecture.
You shouldaseenit! This woman sitting across from me slips into fourth gear flapping her index card and waving wildly to get an opportunity to read her card. I'm mildly amused thinking, "Good grief woman, what else could be said about family?" Heh, I had no idea. The instructor obviously cannot ignore her now, so she calls on her. This woman happily echos what several others had said about their families consisting of people who are not biologically related...blah, blah, blah, then I heard "alternative family." My mind laments, "Oh, BLANK! Here we go."
I'll admit, my monolithic ideas of family never once mutated to think about the families that are created of people who are not biologically connected. Nor did I think of those who have made themselves 'families' consisting of the same sex. But, but, but the BIBLE SAYS that God made Adam and Eve..... NOT Adam and Steve and certainly NOT Adamma and Eva!!! HOLLER!
I managed to somehow find my way out to the edge of my opaque mindfog only to hear the instructor ask this woman if she did not mind sharing what kind of alternative family she belonged to. "Lord, why, oh why, did she have to ask her that? Who gives a care about details?!" Obviously, the whole class did...you could have heard a daggone pin drop. "Oh," she chirps, "I'm a lesbian, and so is my partner!" (Big 'DUH' there!) "We have cats as our children right now, as we don't have any human children yet!" "Blah, blah, blah... about whatever...," she droned on, and then the instructor says something meaningless and trivial, and thanks her for sharing.
I'm thinking, "Yeah, right...a big THANK YOU! That was knowledge that we all could have done without. Why do we need to know her sexual preference?" Isn't that akin to any of the others stating their favorite sexual positions? What difference does it make to any of us who have to deal with her on a casual basis in a classroom setting? Why do we need to know? I just don't get it!
Then all of a sudden I felt something. Why, was it that this woman was the one giving up the full disclosure, yet I felt and THEN confirmed with a full sweep of my eyes about the room,that ALL the OTHER EYES in the room were on me?!? Just because we are both well dressed, and both well coiffed, and both females, and both black, and both about the same age, does not lump us into the same cotton pickin' category of anything!!! What kind of jacked up logic is that? I felt like screaming and pointing, "HEY, I AM NOT A LESBIAN! SHE JUST TOLD YOU THAT SHE IS!! STOP LOOKING AT ME, DOGBITEIT!!!" I was angry enough to spit nails.
Hmmm....am I judging? How do you determine right from wrong if a 'mental judgement' is not made?
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." Luke 6:37
Oh help me Lord! I see that I really need your help and your guidance in this situation!!!Obviously this woman (and others in her camp) need guidance too, but this is a case of the blind (me not wanting to see) leading the blind (those who really can't see)!!!
If I had only read my card, they would know I was not in the same camp as she! Through the peering of their eyes, I felt as if my character, my moral fiber, my values, my integrity was being tested and subsequently assassinated, and I had done nothing to deserve it! As a child of God, I felt that He within me was being persecuted too! To make matters worse, I could not even clear my name in this court of persecution by similarity, without drawing more attention to the issue of homosexuality....or appearing to the unchurched to be a mere 'homophobic'. The instructor had moved on. Oh, it is on up in here! And I am reminded that the battle is not mine, it is the Lord's.
But still, my blood was boiling....and I am ashamed to admit that it still is....can you tell? To be clear, this has nothing to do with 'homophobia' as they call it. For three days in a row, in three different classes I have been slapped in the face with issues that are directly against what the Word of God teaches us. This is war....all out war! As a minister of the Word of God, I WILL get the Word of God out in these classes in some kind of way.
God give me the strength...
"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalms 28:7
"With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall...It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect...You armed me with strength for battle; you made my adversaries bow at my feet. He gives his king great victories; he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed, to David and his descendants forever." II Samuel 22: 30, 33, 40, 51
for the ensuing battle...
"All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands." I Samuel 17:47
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12
and the Words to say....
"Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue. The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." Exodus 4:10-12
The Word of God is not to be mocked, disbelieved or toyed with:
"Then the LORD said, "The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous, that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know." .... Then he (Abraham) said, "May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?" He (God) answered, "For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it." Genesis 18: 20, 21, 32
"Then the LORD rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah—from the LORD out of the heavens. 25 Thus he overthrew those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities—and also the vegetation in the land." Genesis 19:24
"Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts.
Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another.
Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion. Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.
They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless." Romans 1:24-31
"The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. " Romans 1:18, 19
God loves us all and extends His infinite mercy:
"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." Romans 10:9-13
"For God's gifts and his call are irrevocable. Just as you who were at one time disobedient to God have now received mercy as a result of their disobedience, so they too have now become disobedient in order that they too may now receive mercy as a result of God's mercy to you. For God has bound all men over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all." Romans 11:29-32
And I find solace in...
"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen." Romans 11:36
Amen? Amen. \0/
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Apes 2 Men
This semester has sure started off with an unexpected bang. (No pun intended!) I am taking 3 classes this semester, still plunging towards my goal of finishing up before this year ends, God willing. Well, my first class this week was a biology class...well, technically it was 'Physical Anthropology'. (sigh!) Our text books and lab books were not in stock yet, so depending on whether or not I believe the bookstore or the instructor, one of them is at fault as to why we don't have our books at the start of class.
Anyhoo, this is a class where I have to keep my own personal beliefs and opinions to myself if I want to pass. The instructor has made it pretty clear that he is expecting us to parrot back his teachings and the book's views on the tests, quizzes and essays from our 'good notetaking' to get 'good grades'. This is very disturbing to me. What about independent thinking? Isn't that what learning is all about? I have to think what he thinks to be assessed as a learning student? In one of my classes last semester, I went against everything the instructor said within my essays, and backed it all up with supporting evidence and got nothing but A's.
And that's where the problem lies...the subject matter of this class really cannot be PROVEN without doubt by him nor his books, but he is the one teaching the class, expounding his views to us, the poor ignorant students. My proof is the inerrant Word of God, but I was told several semesters ago by another instructor at the University that I could not use the Bible as a reference for a fact based paper, because it was not a factual, non-fiction source. WHAT?
One of the main topics in this class will be the 'evolution of apes to man'. And this instructor wholeheartedly believes his theories, and those 'great anthropologists and scientists' who have come before him. I feel duped, because this stupid class is a requirement to graduate. I don't want to compromise what I personally believe for the sake of a grade. (But grades are important when seeking scholarships, etc...waaah!) I know that my personal views will not be viewed as 'viable' based upon my sources, to use as substantial evidence to back up my claims. I could just suck it up, and spit it all out right back at him, and get my good grade, but that is rubbing me the wrong way too under my skin. A girl in my class mentioned that she was an atheist, and wholeheartedly believed in evolution, etc....barf! Arrrgh!
What do you think I should do?
Second question of the Day: How come if we evolved from apes there are still apes here today?
Overheard: A co-worker was bragging yesteday that she won tickets through her church's raffle to see the Rolling Stones in concert last night. Huh? Anything about that situation seem a little incongruent to you? Maybe it's just me....I dunno.
\0/
Anyhoo, this is a class where I have to keep my own personal beliefs and opinions to myself if I want to pass. The instructor has made it pretty clear that he is expecting us to parrot back his teachings and the book's views on the tests, quizzes and essays from our 'good notetaking' to get 'good grades'. This is very disturbing to me. What about independent thinking? Isn't that what learning is all about? I have to think what he thinks to be assessed as a learning student? In one of my classes last semester, I went against everything the instructor said within my essays, and backed it all up with supporting evidence and got nothing but A's.
And that's where the problem lies...the subject matter of this class really cannot be PROVEN without doubt by him nor his books, but he is the one teaching the class, expounding his views to us, the poor ignorant students. My proof is the inerrant Word of God, but I was told several semesters ago by another instructor at the University that I could not use the Bible as a reference for a fact based paper, because it was not a factual, non-fiction source. WHAT?
One of the main topics in this class will be the 'evolution of apes to man'. And this instructor wholeheartedly believes his theories, and those 'great anthropologists and scientists' who have come before him. I feel duped, because this stupid class is a requirement to graduate. I don't want to compromise what I personally believe for the sake of a grade. (But grades are important when seeking scholarships, etc...waaah!) I know that my personal views will not be viewed as 'viable' based upon my sources, to use as substantial evidence to back up my claims. I could just suck it up, and spit it all out right back at him, and get my good grade, but that is rubbing me the wrong way too under my skin. A girl in my class mentioned that she was an atheist, and wholeheartedly believed in evolution, etc....barf! Arrrgh!
What do you think I should do?
Second question of the Day: How come if we evolved from apes there are still apes here today?
Overheard: A co-worker was bragging yesteday that she won tickets through her church's raffle to see the Rolling Stones in concert last night. Huh? Anything about that situation seem a little incongruent to you? Maybe it's just me....I dunno.
\0/
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