"Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22 :6 (KJV)
Today is my oldest baby's birthday. He is now 15 years old. I find it so hard to believe that the little sweet, bright eyed baby that I gave birth to (not that long ago it seems) is quickly approaching manhood.
The strong influence that I wield over him as his mother and caretaker is about to end in a few years as I know it now. My husband and I have raised our children in a loving Christian home, instilling Bible based values and morals into them. My sons are intelligent, well behaved, well-spoken, respectful sons- right now.
"My son, keep My word and store up My commands within you. Keep My commands and you will live; guard My teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart. Say to wisdom, 'You are my sister,' and call understanding your kinsman." Proverbs 7 :1-4
But now I find worry trying to creep in. My oldest son- he's a teenager - the girls are calling the house, and of course he is interested in them. I see him being interested in the 'badboy' fashions - excessively baggy clothing, wearing only certain types of hats, shoes and coats, and developing a keen interest in music that is not of a spiritual nature. This from the boy I was so proud of for always walking to the beat of his own drum, without any concern of what his peers thought of him. He is a natural born leader, but now chooses to be a follower just to blend.
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and so many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7 :13
As his mother I want to protect him from certain hurts and mistakes. But I know I have to let go and let him have his failures, be hurt and make mistakes. Some of this may hurt me as his mother observing, more than it will hurt him. I know I am considered to be an overprotective mom by most people's standards, and I have accepted that to a certain extent, because that is just me. I love my kids, and I don't want any harm to befall them. But I am desperately trying to learn to let go, and let him grow up to become what God has planned for him to become, instead of me trying to be God on God's behalf by being so controlling! He has to learn of his own accord through his own experiences- not because his mommy was there protectively bridging the gap for him.
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21
In 3 very short years my baby will be considered an adult by society's standards. Whoa, that's a scary thought on a lot of counts! Coming up for him are the rites of passage for a young man: driving, dating, college, and other important decisions to make that will inevitably help layout the plans his future. "My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life."
Proverbs 6:20
All I can do is keep my son lifted up in my prayers constantly, asking God to continue to lead and guide his father and me, concerning his upbringing-and to bring to remembrance in my son's mind and heart, God's Word when he finds himself at different crossroads in life. Lord, bless him as he seeks to discern Your will in his decisions .
This is a perilous time that we live in, and it's certainly a precarious time to be raising children. But ALL things work together, God is in ultimate control and we are here now for such a time as this. As my son continues to grow up, his mommy is learning to let go, and let God. I thank God for the privilege of being a mother. It is my foremost important responsibility here on earth, and it is a tough job -but I would not trade this job for all the riches in the world!
Happy Birthday, Sweetie. Love you! May Yahweh bless you with many, many, more birthdays to come! Remember to always honor Him and seek Him in all your ways, all of your days.
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8 comments:
~ God loves each one of us ~ as if there were but one of us to love ~
Amen! Isn't that extremely awesome?!
"I know I am considered to be an overprotective mom by most people's standards"
Well then, most people's standards are wrong. I don't see you as over protective at all. You are merely being what I sometimes think has become extinct, a PARENT.
Lucy
Aw, thank you! :-)
As Bill Cosby said, "We need Parent Power." You do not sound over protective to me either. Your concerns about your son are valid.
The ancient rite of passage into manhood is actually age 13 isn't it?
I wonder if your son works at all, at least a solid part time job while studying. Perhaps taking on more adult responsibility would be a good way to sober up some of the attitudes/behaviors you describe, help him mature and keep him from getting caught in the spoiled American trap.
I love the way you continue to quote scripture interspersed in your blog. Thank you for sharing from your heart.
Sincerely I pray,
Yes, the usual quoted age of the rites of passage is 13...but it is only now at this age that my son is as tall as I am, is getting a deeper voice, and taking on manlier qualities...And Mom was reluctant to lose her 'baby'.
As for the scriptures -I can only give God the glory. It's His Word, and I interject them only as I feel led to do. Thanks for the encouragement! \0/
You're welcome : )
The parenting advice of "Love and Logid" is to allow them to make the mistakes they can afford to make, when they can afford to make them-ie allowing them to spend their allowance on the wrong thing and not have money for something they desperately want, teaches them to save money. This is a concept that is working brilliantly for my own 11-year-old. He gets it. Now, dressing like a hood is that a mistake? Is it one he can afford to make? We had a similar situation with a haircut my son desperately wanted, but I considered too, well, unChristlike is I guess the best way to put it. I finally gave in, he was happy as a lark for a week, and then got tired of it. I allowed him to make a mistake he could afford to make, and he learned a lesson. Popular is not always best. It is a fine line we walk with our children!
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